Mixed Bag

Today was pretty uneventful, so I have a bunch of little things to write about that didn't fit into a day trip summation...

1. SuperSol Deal: Today we went to another supermarket in Jerusalem. Our friend Adam attempted to guide us through the supermarket, wising us up to the "secret" stash of nuts by the last register, and showing us which stuff we wanted to buy. Today was my first experience EVER buying chicken from a butcher counter at a grocery store. It was pretty intense...and I felt like a real, normal citizen. Also, I noticed that there were about 5 (yes, five) aisles, featuring Elite Chocolate (you remember this if I've ever given you poprox chocolate).

Things we purchased at SuperSol Deal include a sh'moniyah (that's an 8-pack of Diet Coke. We're moving on up.), schnitzel-grade chicken (proof that there is a God, if you can't find God at the Kotel), diet yogurt (in weird flavors like passionfruit), a wide variety of pretzel/cookie/snacky things, and tomatoes. Tomato-shopping, by the way, is INTENSE here. There was like 4 times the normal supermarket display of tomatoes, and people were sifting through them to find the PERFECT complement to their cucumbers for Israeli Salad.

2. My Dramatic Flair: Allison pointed out that I interrupted her reading of Frommer's to show her (and Rafi) the sign about the Dead Sea being the lowest point on Earth. She's not nearly as stupid as I made her look. But much like the work of James Frey, let's remember that it still made for a good read. (I'm a big fan of James Frey, so if my beelog isn't as accurate as you would like, well, you're just going to have to suck it up and deal.)

3. Lifeguards: The Dead Sea has lifeguards, even though it's virtually impossible to submerge your head in that buoyant, fabulous water. As an on-again, off-again Lifeguard (recertified this past summer), I know that you can drown in only 2 inches of water. I also know that I've never seen a lifeguard smoking on the job. That's right. The ultimate Israeli experience includes a dip in the Dead Sea, and being yelled at by a lifeguard who sports sunglasses, a megaphone, and a half-smoked cigarette hanging out of the corner of his mouth.
4. Lines: Are you all queued up? Ready to take your place in front of the register at Aroma? Well, don't let the 80-year-old grandma with the cart of vegetables stomp on your foot to get her Ice Aroma first. Israelis are p-u-s-h-y. Allison and I enjoy our fought-for coffees. (She had to stand up for her place in line because of a pushy Israeli. Really.)

5. Nokia: Cellcom, Shalom, indeed. Israel is a world leader in technology. They INVENTED everything electronic (sorry, Al Gore). OK, not everything, but a lot of stuff. So why is it that 98% of cellphones here are the Nokias so coveted by me, pre-cellphone, in the year 2000? (Conan shout-out) I MISS MY SAMSUNG. These non-flip-phones are soooo Sophomore year.

6. My Own Illiteracy: I was talking recently about how if I were in the states, I would NEVER eat this much bread. If only I knew how to order a salad with the toppings that I want, I wouldn't have to get a sandwich. I also would be interested in buying cream cheese, or arguing with a bus driver or a talking to a person on the street, but I just don't know enough Hebrew to do that. My conversational inclination lies fallow, except for when I'm with the crowd from NY.

7. Israeli Soldiers: When I was on USY Poland/Israel Pilgrimage, in 1999, Israeli soldiers were THE hotties. Everyone wanted to hook up with a soldier, and why not, if they were maybe a year or two older than us? Now that I'm 25, I see these soldiers and think, "Oh, s/he's just a child!" These tiny little kids are defending this tiny little country. It's really quite unbelievable. This child-soldier was napping, cradling his machine gun like a baby sleeps with a teddy bear, while waiting for his bus in the Jerusalem Central Bus Station, just before we went off to the Dead Sea.


That's all for now. I'm sure I'll do something exciting soon. For now, just my little ramblings.

The Lowest Point on Earth

At some point during my loooong, windy bus ride to the Sukkah in the Suburbs, I mentioned to Allison that I wanted to go to the Dead Sea. Like many of my last-minute plans, it went something like this:

SBB: Let's go to the Dead Sea.
Allison: Oooh, sure. When do you want to go?
SBB: Tomorrow.
Allison: Do you have a plan?
SBB: Um. Bus?

It worked like a charm...and we convinced Rafi to come with us! Earlyish in the morning we set off for the Central Bus Station, stopped at Aroma (it's like Starbucks here), grabbed some coffees, like this:

SBB: Can I have an Ice Cafe and an Ice Aroma? (I said this in Hebrew.)
[in my head, I thought I was ordering a coffee with ice in it and a frappachino-thing]
Aroma Girl: You want what and what?
[in her mind, ice cafe and ice Aroma are the same thing -- a frappachino-thing.]
SBB: Ice Aroma. Ice Cafe. Thanks.
Aroma Girl: OK, it's [insert Starbuck-like price] sheqels.
SBB: What the hell? Did I stutter? (That was to myself, and in English.)
Aroma Girl (brings back two identical cups of frappachino-thing): Here you go!
SBB: Which is ice cafe and which is ice Aroma? (I thought maybe one had fun flavoring in it.)
Aroma Girl: This is cafe, and this aroma. (She said this with a straight face. Somehow. Later on, during her lunch break, she regaled her friends about the stupid American who ordered the same thing with two separate names.)

Moral of the story? Next time, order cafe im kerach (coffee with ice). After this fun time at Aroma, we got on the bus to Ein Gedi / the Dead Sea. Funny exchange from the bus ride:

Allison, peeking out from behind her Frommer's Israel Guide: Did you know that the Dead Sea is the lowest place on Earth?
Rafi: Of course.
SBB: My life often feels like that.

We decided at some point on the way down to go to the Spa at Ein Gedi, which is also on the Dead Sea, and has nicer locker rooms than the public beach we had set out to patronize. Below you can see pictures from the fun we had during our day at the (blue-collar) spa. This is Rafi's name for the spa, because it's pretty cheap and most of the people there were wearing jellies. Remember jellies?

First thing we did was decorate ourselves in thick, black mud. We found our friend Anya as we were walking to the mud, and she graciously took pictures of us painting on the Bootz (mud). See Allison, Rafi and me playing in the following pictures:


Girls Gone Muddy.


Rafi gets in on the fun.

After we did the mud thing, and rinsed off the mud thing, we took the tram (don't forget, this is a SPA) down to the Dead Sea shore. It was hot, and there were plenty of people in the water. You can see as you walk down to the edge that this is not a normal body of water. Each person in the Dead Sea floats on top of the water like an ice cube in soda. The shore was different, too. It was like walking on top of a big, slick salty skating rink. Wading into the water, you're surprised at the warmth of the water, and the teeny, tiny stings on the cuts in your skin that you didn't even know you had. After going out a few feet, you can sit your tush down in the water, and watch as your feet pop up. Like the world's best synchronized swimmer on steroids, you can float on top of the water and look great doing it. I crossed my legs, then I did a split. I floated on my stomach and stretched my legs above my tush without ever getting my face wet. I had a great time and had little interest in getting out of the water, except I decided it was time for lunch.


Floating effortlessly. What a lady!


Sara Beth is a Ham.


Rafi tries desparately to not be a tourist as I mug for one of my many publicity shots.

The rest of the day was nice. We went in the (chlorinated) pool to rinse of the oily, mineral-rich Dead Sea water and changed into some dry clothes. After a late lunch we caught the bus back to Jerusalem, feeling all relaxed and vitalized from the beautiful spa.