22 June 2009

On the Concept of the Ski Burqa

So, I've been floating around an idea.

Wait. Back up.

First, I decided to go to camp for a month to do waterskiing. So I'm at the same camp I was at last summer, and the summer I met Rafi, but not the camp I was at in the midwest in 2007.

Now, waterskiing is a good job for me because I like leading the hashkamah minyan - we meet at 6:45 for tefillot before we eat breakfast and go to the lake. It's also a good job because I like having one real co-counselor and only 6 kids. We all get to know each other really well, and it's special. They become, have become, OUR babies. Additionally, I like waterskiing because I'm good at teaching it, I love driving a bus to the lake, I love driving the boat, and it's the same lake I've been skiing on since 1991 (no, really).

But waterskiing is a terrible job for me because I am fishbelly white (something I unsuccessfully translated to beten-dag lavan in Hebrew today), I have had precancerous moles removed, and I do not tan, do not wish to tan, would prefer to spend summer under a large umbrella at all times. If it weren't for camp, in fact, I would spend my summers inside, sitting hunched in front of an AC unit, lamenting the summer heat the way most people experience Seasonal Affective Disorder in the winter. (What can I say, I was accidentially a Floridian for all of those years.)

So...I've been floating around an idea. Long sleeve shirts and pants can only go so far over bathing suits, which are required for responsible boat-driving lifeguards of the waterskiing-instructing persuasion. At some point, they get soggy, they flap in the wind, they get snagged on a strap here or a rope there.

I NEED A SKI BURQA!

Now, before you get all up in arms, let me remind you that I'm pretty liberal. In dress, in speech, in religious belief, and in politics. My dad calls me an empty-headed liberal on a regular basis, and I've gone so far as to be completely left-handed in everything that I do. I even slalom ski with my left foot in the front boot of the ski!

Actually, modesty in swimwear was all over the web today, with a blog post on MyJewishLearning.com, giving this take on other options. MJL linked to this article about modest swimwear. Neither article has any mention of sun protection, which is more my concern, although when I found out some of our ski videos might be on the web, my first thought (out loud, of course) was "My thighs are going to be on the internet?" Maybe I should just get some modest swim wear...?

I am slowly baking myself to (in my mind) death. Doomsday music rings in my ears when I check my shoulders after a day on the water. I am - GASP - tan. And I am not happy. And my nose! My poor nose! It looks like I painted a white line through my eyebrows that ends abruptly with a splash of tanned residue ruining my snowy nose! Let it be said in this forum that I reapply SPF 50 at LEAST once an hour - and I start with a foundation of SPF 85 on my face!

SOOOOO, hows about we get me a ski burqa? The way I see it, it has nothing to do with religious belief - except for maybe the Jewish concept of pikuach nefesh - saving a life. In fact, it can be stylish - made out of the same material from which you make rash guards, those long-sleeved surfer shirts. Quick to dry and a full-on cover, I can't see the down side.

I read today in the NYT that Sarkozy today said he wants to rid France of burqas. Maybe if they have a few over there made from the spandex-lycra blend of my favorite one-piece, they could mail them to me at camp?

1 comment:

Dr JayB said...

never said you were an empty headed liberal, just that all liberals are empty headed. As Ambrose Bierce put it, "no generalization is worth a damn, including this one." Love Dad