29 September 2008

Shanah Tovah!

I know I haven't written in a long time. But it's Rosh Hashanah in a few hours -- the Jewish new year.

My year has been going ok, except that I broke my tailbone last week.

In good news, I'm in New Orleans, because Rafi and Elie are doing services at Tulane. In other good news, I was able to survive the flight with just a little help from some tush-pain bustin' candy that I so happily received on Wednesday night after the fall down a half a flight of stairs in my silly UWS building.

I look to this year with trepidation as I read stories about the state of US finance, of the election (I reallllly don't like this Palin chick), of getting a real, fulltime job (Hopefully with dental!). I rather like being a student, and I'll miss JTS when I leave.

I hope this new year is a good one -- for me, for you. I am sorry if I wronged you -- did I wrong you? Does a post on my fallow blob count as an apology? Due to my recent face-down status, that's all you're getting. Sorry...Again. Oh well, it is the season for forgiveness.

I also hope this new year brings financial security to me, in the form of a full-time job in May, and to my country, in the form of the market not falling into an increasingly 1929-esque oblivian.

Finally, I hope for happiness and celebration in the new year, which I know I'll get, at least, when my tush stops aching whenever I sit down.

11 September 2008

Now, With More Aspartame!

Let's make something perfectly clear. I love Dunkin' Donuts. I love their donuts, I love their fridges of chocolate milks. I love that I went there on a weekly basis when I worked in Greenwich, and I loved that my home Rabbi supervised their kashrut so I could eat Dunkin' Donuts at my shul. Which I did. Often.

This morning, I found that when I emerged from the train station on the way to NJ (more about my secret love of the reverse commute, coming soon!), I walk practically into a DD. So today, after my crazy night, which consisted of moving furniture from Brooklyn to my apt at midnight, and carrying things like entire bookcases on my apparently strong back, I needed some coffee.

I ordered a medium, which apparently, in the words of one of my favorite comedians, is more like "coffee for 15 people." I guess I am used to the costly Starbucks medium, which is called grande, which means big in Spanish, but is like the size of frat-boy-cups. Dunkin' gives you a deal: about a gallon of coffee. And DD is cheaper, too.

I am glad I got the coffee, don't get me wrong. But I was shocked at the taste. Even with milk and Splenda, coffee is just kind of gross. What I didn't realize, when ordering my family-sized jug of coffee is that I prefer coffee with "Lite Vanilla Hazelnut Fat-Free Syrup-Type Product: Now, With More Aspartame!"

Lesson learned.

I could've just found a DD logo. This one makes me happier, though. gOBAMA'08!
(Source: http://www.diminishingreturns.net/wp/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/obama_runs_on_dunkin1.jpg)

08 September 2008

Leap Year = Pregnant Year (in Hebrew)

So, my Hebrew class at JTS is (surprise!) actually not too bad. I can now understand Hebrew conversations, and my teacher is smart, quick and hilarious. I am currently exploring my Israeli accent, and I find it fades in and out. I am more likely to read like an American, but speak like a 'raeli, and if I learned the word or phrase before I went to Israel, chances are I'll say it like I learned it.

Today in class we were talking about Jewish Leap Years, vs. Solar Leap Years. I know, it doesn't sound so engaging, but...my teacher explained that the word for "Leap Year" in Hebrew is actually a biblical term for pregnancy, a "pregnant year." There was some fiddling around with Hebrew verbs in conversation, and then, she said this, more or less, in Hebrew:

"But not like what happened to the daughter of Palin. Nobody talks like that, says she was 'made pregnant.' She was 'entered into pregnancy' by that boy."

There was a (pregnant) pause. Did my teacher just make a joke about the would-be VP who tried to ban Harry Potter books (and pretty much the entirety of any respectable cultural literacy reading list) in Wasilla, AK? (Thanks, Metafilter.) (Apparently, she didn't try to ban all of those books. Snopes* says so.)

She totally did.

Things are looking up in the world.

*Snopes? I think I'm turning into my mother! Gah!

02 September 2008

Waxing Political // Miss JSU

I love waxing political on occasion, and I've been getting trained more and more in this vein by Rafi. I figure this will upset 2 or 3 of my 7 or so readers (Hi dad, Rafi's parents, the Israeli family, Meredith, people with Google Reader and Melanie!), but what the hey, school starts tomorrow and I need to have fun now, so here goes.

Sarah Palin is the Republican VP nominee. Taking into account my limited grasp of the subject of nominating people for VP of a serious, gigantic world power, here was my take:

1. She governs more reindeer than people. (Just this past summer, I governed 120 of the world's most terrific 12-year olds...)
2. She is pro-life, pro-guns and pro-drilling. (I like living, but prefer choice, am a good shot, but am pro gun control, and I think our dependency on oil needs to go...)
3. She's been governor for less than 2 years. (I have been in grad school for more than 2 years...)
4. I'm not entirely convinced that living and studying in Alaska and Idaho prepares you to be worldly and meet with foreign dignitaries. (I have lived in Israel, New York, and Florida...)
5. Isn't McCain a little old to be picking such an inexperienced running mate? (None of my moles were as bad as the ones he had removed...)
6. All other things considered, Republican family members, is she really any good for Israel, your reason for being Conservative. (I love Israel AND I'm pro-choice AND I'm smart AND I'm female!)

Then I read this article (insert waxing joke here), as linked on a favorite gossip blog of mine, Pink is the New Blog.

I then decided, that since I was also a first runner up in a beauty pageant, and an excellent shot (thanks, CBR!), then maybe I should be VP.

Then I realized that I have not had a future grandchild announcement from my 17-year-old daughter,(b'shaah tovah to the whole family!) so maybe I wouldn't make such a good VP. Hooray for abstinence-only education! Wheee!

The night I was crowned first runner up of the UF Miss JSU 2004 pageant.
In case you're wondering, I didn't have a real talent, so I did stand-up.
Another Sara won the grand prize for political reasons.
And no, I am not making this up.