Yesterday, I realized that I was oversleeping, not because I had mono, as I had flippantly hypothesized, but because my cell phone alarm was not ringing, but rather vibrating. Moving the phone away, as it turns out, makes the phone even LESS likely to wake me.
Cue Guster (with a pivotal editoral change made by me):
"You'll be a-wasting time,
You've dreamed a thousand dreams,
None seem to stick in your mind,
[Ten bucks] for honesty,
It must make you sad to know,
That nobody cares at all.
Nobody cares at all."
I'm sure the fine gentlemen of Guster didn't have me in mind when they wrote this song, but in fancy, Pine Crest-educated fashion, I am able to see myself in the text. I'm wasting time (oversleeping), dreaming a thousand dreams (about oversleeping, of course, all while not being awake and getting dressed for school), none seem to stick in your mind (the phone only vibrates, and doesn't ring), two points / 10 bucks for honesty...
So, I called Israel Phones and asked them to send me a phone, after explaining what was wrong with my current phone...
SBB: It doesn't ring.
Customer Service Rep: Did something happen to it?
SBB: It fell*.
CSR: Well, we're going to charge you $10.
SBB: But I have been paying for insurance on the phone. Why the $10?
CSR: You just told me you dropped it.
SBB: But if I hadn't dropped it?
CSR: No fee.
SBB: So you're charging me $10 for being honest?
CSR: I guess so, but we don't like our customers lying to us.
SBB: That's the most ridiculous things I've ever heard.
* I would like to mention two points here. Firstly, everybody drops their phones. EVERYBODY. Secondly, I really dropped it. I admit it. It fell on the floor of the bus. Every passenger in my vicinity was picking up Nokia pieces and helping me piece the phone back together. Which I did, successfully, and without so much as a second thought.
So, Israel Phones sent their guy to deliver my phone. It was a drive-by, meaning, he barely pulled up to my place, switched the Sim cards and was OFF! I had luckily copied all of my numbers into my יומן / yoman / planner and then entered them, digitally (get it? into the phone and by hand!), one by one. I reveled when my phone woke me up by RINGING this morning. Woo!
How to describe the Israel Phones delivery mechanism...Some would say discreet, I say creepy.
...And then I got a text message. I tried to reply to it, but I couldn't really read the background, because the light in the phone was defective. I then realized I could lock and unlock the phone, to get the light to turn back on, but I couldn't fix it by going to the phone settings, so...I called Israel Phones, and they promised another cell phone, but this time, they taught me how to move my numbers digitally, not by hand!
And I got another drive-by tonight. Another new cell phone. And this time, they didn't charge me extra...even though I told the truth.